Ode to the Nightcrawler

by Brian Dunning
September 20, 2022

Episode #826 was about an especially unusual cryptid known as the Fresno Nightcrawler. It was a surprisingly popular episode, mainly because there are a number of online and real-world communities who have adopted the Nightcrawler as a sort of mascot. Today is episode #850, and as longtime Skeptoid listeners have come to know, every 50th episode is usually a musical special, and what better way to celebrate a favorite icon than with a musical tribute. Well, I wasn't sure if that was a direction I wanted to go this time, but it turned out that the nightcrawler held special meaning for me as well. Because I once had a personal encounter of my own.

The Nightcrawler, as you may recall, is known from just a scant handful of security camera videos, the most famous of which came from Fresno, California. The creature has only been spotted in pairs, a larger one followed by a smaller one. They look like just a pair of legs, with no other body parts or features, and flat as if cut from paper. They are also, as it turns out, extremely cute. But that doesn't stop them from being beastly creatures of the darkness who strike fear into the hearts of some, and win over the hearts of others.

It's now time for me to come clean and confess my own experience encountering the Nightcrawler. This is what happened.

I was out for a stroll one warm summer night,
The moon over Fresno shined clear and bright.
When suddenly something caught my glance
A pair of legs not wearing pants!

No body, just legs
Only two white pegs
Must have drained that bottle right to the dregs
To see those nightcrawler legs

The legs were white like an ironed sheet
Just ambling along right down the street
I figured I must have lost my mind,
When a second one followed close behind!

I reached for my pocket to grab my phone,
This chance for a photo must not be blown.
But off they sped into the night
Until they vanished out of sight.

Many times since I've sought my friends
For I know not how this story ends.
I'd never have guessed in my wildest dreams
The Nightcrawler lives not just in memes.

To this day, whenever I'm out at night, I find myself searching the shadows, hoping to see my unusual friends just one more time. But whether I do or not, the Nightcrawlers have found a permanent home in my heart, as they have in so many others.

And that's my story. Is it true? Well, that hardly matters. What does matter is that we not let skepticism turn to cynicism, and forget how to enjoy a fun story for its own sake. So if you ask me, I'm sticking to my guns. The Nightcrawler lives.

By Brian Dunning
Follow @BrianDunning