Minutes from the Annual Rothschild Family Meeting

Despite my last name being Rothschild, for some reason, I have never been invited to the Rothschild Dynasty Annual Meeting, held this year in beautiful Southern California. However, through secret channels, begging and calling in favors, I was able to get my hands on a copy of the meeting itinerary. I believe it will reveal that, far from being the world-dominating, money-supply controlling, war-starting cabal of secretive bankers featured in numerous conspiracy theories, the Rothschilds are just like you and me, dedicated to using their wealth for the betterment of humanity and advancing the cause of responsible capitalism.

This has nothing at all to do with my continual attempts to use my last name as a way of getting free wine, artwork and membership in exclusive clubs. Nothing at all. Shame on you for even thinking such a thing.

277th Annual Rothschild Dynasty Meeting
Morongo Casino, Resort & Spa, Cabazon, CA

Day 1
9 AM – Continental Breakfast
10 AM – Opening Remarks – Meyer Amschel Rothschild XIII
11:30 AM – Session 1: Cooled Britannia: Controlling the British Money Supply in a Changing Economy, led by Lord Thislewick Rothschild
1 PM – Endangered Species Lunch
2:30 PM – Session 2: How to Start a War for Fun and Profit but Mostly Profit, led by General Nathan Bedford Rothschild, Vice-President, Colombian Junta
3:30 PM – Session 3: Purchasing a Politician: It’s Easier Than You Think!, led by Senator Garfield Rothschild Garfield
5 PM – Cocktails and “Networking”
6 PM – Dine Arounds (Red Lobster, Black Angus, Chipotle)
8 PM – Informal Evening Session: How to Dispose of Unruly Underlings, led by Ernst Stavro Rothschild
9 PM – Ice Cream Social and Blood Sacrifice
11:30 PM – Young Rothschilds (60 and younger) “Club Night”

Day 2
9 AM – Continental Breakfast
10 AM – Breakout Session: The Rothschild Dynasty in the 21st Century: Space, Gas and Space Gas.
11 AM – Session 4: Hashtag Billions: How to Consolidate Wealth through Social Media, led by Lord Twitter von Rothschild
12:30 PM – “Ethnic” Lunch
2 PM – Breakout Session: Waterloo 2.0: Finding the Next Great Battle Between Nations, and Rigging it For Our Own Purposes
3:30 – Break
4 PM – Session 5: Usury Your Illusion: Bank Fees, Interest Rates and Those Pesky Credit Unions
5 PM – Family Awards, Accomplishments, Milestones. Performance of SEASONS OF LOVE from the musical RENT by Rothschild Family Showband and Revue
6:30 PM – Dining On Your Own
8 PM – Poker Tournament! First Prize, Two-Year Term as President of Federal Reserve Bank
8 PM – Spa Night (ladies only, please)
10 PM – Secret Circle and Drum Dance Ritual (Please note, this is open to Rothschild blood relations only)

Day 3
9 AM – Breakfast, Danish and Coffee
10 AM – Business Card Exchange
11 AM – Closing Remarks, given by Oldest Living Rothschild, Karl Theodor Maria Nikolaus Johann Jacob Philipp Franz Joseph Sylvester Freiherr von und zu Rothschild IV, 107 years young.
12 PM – Limousine Pickup for Return Journeys

END

About Mike Rothschild

Mike Rothschild is a writer and editor based in Pasadena. He writes about scams, conspiracy theories, hoaxes and pop culture fads. He's also a playwright and screenwriter. Follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/rothschildmd.
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3 Responses to Minutes from the Annual Rothschild Family Meeting

  1. twitch says:

    As a child I remember the commercials advertising Rothschild’s Confections. They unabashedly appealed to the longings for richness and honor. This diabolical advertising campaign seduced many of us. Since the 1970’s the Rothschilds have gone stealth in the USA. As far as we can discern, the company was “bought” by Beatrice Foods (Béatrice Ephrussi de Rothschild…..coincidence?) This company was then “purchased” by ConAgra, a company run out of Nebraska by its shadow CEO-Hank Rothschild. The list of this company’s crimes is lengthy. (Smells like Rothschild to me).

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb3jAtSzSrs

    Our motto: WE watch THEM watch us watch them.

  2. lilady says:

    At one of the other science blogs, we have a poster “Lord Draconis Zeneca”, who is our “beneficent overlord” and grantor of the “filthy lucre” that all the “vaccine shills” receive, for promoting immunizations. The Rothschilds are part of the international cabal that promotes “teh ebil vaccines”.

    http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2012/01/04/i-love-it-when-you-call-me-big-pharma/

    (Enjoy ZDoggMD’s video) 🙂

  3. Akiva Romero says:

    The idiot muslem people are very crazy about rothschild and Israel they accuse them of being satanic,but their works are worst praising their god and killing people burning churches suicide and sacrificing kids promising 72 women in their heaven.Is it not satanic?

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